Foundation Of Relationships – Part 3

Honesty is one of the basic pillars of any relationship. For me, honesty in a relationship is to bare your spirit to another person, not holding anything back but to express everything in a loving and respectful manner.

Honesty

If you are honest with yourself (which is called integrity) it’s effortless, to be honest with someone you love and respect. The challenge is that if that person has the same values, your relationship will strengthen; otherwise, it’ll die. Either way, it’s good as you don’t have to suffer in the end. Most people avoid the path of honesty for fear of the loss of someone, and when it happens later in the relationship, it hurt them even more.

It is easy to be naked in the body to your partner hundreds/thousands of times, but how many can bare themselves in spirit? Ask yourself the same question, that I’ve lived with this person for 10-12-13 years, but how many times have we become naked in spirit and dealt in total honesty?

Exercise:

Ask each other these three questions: What are your brightest dreams, darkest fears, and wildest fantasies and try to share the answers with complete honesty without the fear of being judged or criticized. Try this, and the quality of your relationship will improve tremendously.

Trust

The foundation of any healthy relationship is trust. It is a prerequisite as well as an ongoing quality of quality relationships. With honesty, you naturally develop trust as you know the other person is being honest and transparent.

It may be challenging for some, but when you start with trust, your journey together becomes more relaxed and enjoyable. You do not have to question the motives and behaviors. When you do not seek or overanalyze intentions behind actions, life becomes so much easier. One can argue what if we trust wholeheartedly and it is not reciprocated? My belief is to always start with trust, with positivity, and even if we are disappointed in the future, the pain is only after we know the truth. We will then have the strength to accept reality and move on peacefully knowing you have done the right thing.

If you are not in a trusting relationship, every day will be torment, confusion, and full of unnecessary thinking. You’ll end up spending time cross-checking, verifying, justifying and asking for justifications, etc. Either way, both parties must have or build the resilience to accept the truth. If the person develops a sense of guilt, either they will stop breaching your trust, and you can then work on rebuilding your relationship, or it may be too late, and you may both decide it is the end of the road.

There is an ancient saying, “You walk by faith, not by sight.” The same applies to relationships. In the end, you will know in heart that the person next to you is someone you can bare your soul to and the same is being reciprocated. If it’s not there, the early signs will emerge, and you will eventually learn the truth. Otherwise, you know you are with the chosen one, with whom you can bare your soul!