Foundation Of Relationships – Part 1
The qualities of all relationships we have reflect the quality of our relationship with ourselves.
~ Jiken~
Two Cosmic Rules
#1 If we are not happy
with our ourselves, we can never be happy with anyone or anything else. Reflect and ask yourself, “Is there anything that I am not satisfied with myself, and is it in my power to change?” If you can identify it and attempt to solve that first, the quality of all your relationships will improve instantaneously.
#2 Karmic Connections
The second crucial cosmic rule we need to understand is that we are drawing all the people in our life due to karmic connections. Once their role is complete, these connections cease to exist and replaced by new ones which are necessary for us. If someone special has walked away from your life, think that their role in your life is over and it’s time for someone new. They have given/shared what they had to and moved on, and you should be doing the same as well.
To create the foundation for any relationship in your life, four core values are required for that relationship to survive and be enriched. These values are respect, love, honesty, and trust.
We will cover each value individually, and the order they are presented in is as important as the values. This blog is broken up into three parts for easier reading.
Respect
The initial requirement of any fulfilling relationship is to have respect for one another. In most cases, we move directly to love, and in the absence of respect, love cannot survive for long.
Think of this situation: have you ever been angry with someone you love and said something which has disturbed/hurt you both? Now imagine that someone you respect a lot has done the same thing, and how would you have reacted to that person? Wouldn’t you be more cautious and articulate in expressing your feelings? Wouldn’t you stop for a moment and think twice before saying something in the emotion of the moment? To elaborate the example for the same situation, wouldn’t you react differently with your friend/partner you love and your mother/father?
Naturally, you will reason out with your parent in a much smoother way because you respect them more. However, you will say anything to your close friend/partner. So, if your relationship is grounded based on respect for each other, it has a strong foundation and better chances of surviving rough weather. The intricacy of this is that respect must be given and earned. It isn’t granted automatically. We have been conditioned to believe that just because someone is a partner/boss/parent, it means that you have to respect them automatically. They must earn it by showing the correct behaviors and values. The same applies to you as well.